I feel the two tools that are key in achieving your optimal amount of curl and control of your curl is the proper product and a diffuser. It is amazing what a little a product and a diffuser can do to enhance your curly style, as well as make you feel like you are in control of your curls rather than feeling like they are in control of you. So, let's talk product!
In my experience, most people who are scared of their hair tell me how when they were growing up their hair was so frizzy and out of control. My response: now there is product for that! It is amazing the product they have out there for curly hair. One of my favorites is Bumble and bumble's Defining Creme. This product is great for getting the most curl out of your hair. It has enzymes in it that makes your hair want to curl more, similar to what they put in mascaras that make your lashes curl. Another great product is Kevin Murphy's Motion.Lotion, which is similar to Bumble's curl creme. These products also help to eliminate frizz.
Apply your curl creme (talk to your stylist about which one they think may be right for you, or research the two I mentioned above) to damp hair. If you are in a hurry, scrunch it in a little and you can be on your way. Or, if you have a little time pull out your diffuser. Diffusers are great for getting a little more curl out of your hair. The curls wrap themselves around the prongs on the diffuser and dry into place. Place the diffuser into your curls and let it sit for a minute. I like to set my dryer's heat setting to cool so you don't burn your scalp while you are letting the diffuser sit in your hair. Remove the diffuser from that section of hair and place it in another.
Continue this, moving around your head. For more body, you can flip your head over when you are diffusing the top. This will dry your hair away from where it usually lives and give you more lift and body on top. For more defined curls, you can take sections of hair and twist them around your finger into more defined pieces prior to diffusing. Try not to touch your hair too much while you are drying it. Touching curly hair too much while it is drying will add more frizz.
After you have gotten your hair to your desired dryness, apply a finishing product. One of my favorites is a little of Bumble and bumble's Styling Wax. Take a small amount, rub it into your hands, and scrunch it into the ends of your hair. Another great one is Bumble's Brilliantine. This will just help add some polish and shine to your curls.
Embrace your curls! Take some time to play around and practice styling them. If you need to, set up a wash and blowdry appointment with your stylist and ask them to walk you through the different steps of styling. I believe with the right tools and knowledge of how to properly use those tools, every curly haired person can love the hair they wear.